QUOTE OF THE MONTH
August
Each month, we'll post a rule from "Are You A Good Mentor?"
"Even though all your efforts may never garner a thank you...
... mentoring a youngster might be the most rewarding you ever do in your life.
A single smile is all you will need to settle the account."​
It wasn't hard deciding what to post this month. A couple weeks ago my current mentee, a spirited ten-year-old, gave me this note along with some of his most treasured possessions as a way of saying thank you. Priceless.
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As the rule explains, don't become a good mentor expecting a thank you for your efforts. That's not why we do it. We do it because it's the right thing to do.
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Parents will raise a couple beautiful children, and they'll think that's it - they've fulfilled their life's obligation. But that's not so. Raising children to be good citizens is what's expected of "every" parent.
It's not until one learns the true meaning of empathy, love and kindness - making sacrifices to serve the needs of others, especially children outside their inner circle that they'll begin to understand life's true purpose - to learn, to teach, and to share their wisdom with others. That's the true path to enlightenment. You'll know when you get there.
Often you will mentor youngsters and never hear from them again. That doesn't mean you did a poor job. Kids are kids and things like thank you are sometimes overlooked. Don't be discouraged. A single sincere comment from a youngster could melt your heart like nothing else. So just stay at it and enjoy the occasional acknowledgment. That's all you'll need.
In the late 70s at our end of season awards dinner, a fifteen-year-old presented me with a bottle of bourbon, Jack Daniels (his mom bought it for him) as a way of showing his appreciation for the things I had done for him that past season. He wasn't a great hockey player, but he worked hard every time he got on the ice and listened to everything his coach or I told him. Several years later, still a teen, he died in a freak accident at a dorm party. I think of him each time I walk past that bottle of Jack Daniels on my shelf. Good mentors treat other's kids like their own. My hurt may not compare to that of his parents, but it still hurts.
I was driving a twelve-year-old home after a plethora of amazing events over the previous nineteen days. There was hockey school in Canada, visits to Niagara Falls and the Hockey Hall of Fame, a trip to the Montreal Summer Olympics and other amazing events that past season. We were thirty minutes from the boy's home when he turned to me and said, “Jim, you have done so many things for me and taken me to so many places. I don’t know how I am ever going to be able to repay you for everything you have done for me.” I was floored. I didn’t know what to say. I paused for a minute to collect my thoughts, then I replied, “You don’t owe me for anything I have done for you. I do all these things for you because I want to, and I do them because you’re a good kid.” I continued, “Maybe someday when you grow up you’ll find a nice girl, get married and have children of your own. Then you can do some of these things for your own children that I have done for you. That would make me very proud and be all the repayment I could ever hope for.” Today, he's the father of three great kids, and I am very proud.
Now that all these youngsters I mentored decades ago have become men, many with spouses and children of their own, I get thanks and messages of appreciation via email and social media regularly. It still warms my heart. Don't work hard at being a good mentor and expect a thank you. When they do arrive though, make sure you are not operating any heavy machinery. You'll need a few minutes. Trust me.