QUOTE OF THE MONTH
September
Each month, we'll post a rule from "Are You A Good Mentor?"
"Say what you do, and do what you say.
Actions speak louder than words. "
Whoever coined the phrase, "Talk is cheap", was spot on. Words have little meaning without actions to back them up. I'm sure most politicians will disagree and talk about how they're different. Right. Don't make promises you can't keep. Always follow through with whatever you say you're going to do and expect the same from your mentees. They'll trust that your words have real meaning, resulting in real actions. Doing what you say - being consistent, will earn their respect.
Oh, relating to the story below. After the boy cleaned the melted chocolate from his butt and put on a fresh pair of Fruit Of The Looms in my office bathroom, he tricked me into walking out a Fire Door on to the building's garage roof to retrieve the chocolate soiled skivvies he had thrown out there and then locked me out. I had to climb down a fire ladder to get back into the building. He got me good. Things were a bit different back then. Life was simpler.
Good mentors always keep their word… their promise. If you say you are going to do something, then you better make sure you follow through. Words can have little value without actions to back them up. People may be depending on you. Of course, this can go both ways.
We finished playing a youth hockey game early on a Sunday morning, and I was taking three thirteen-year-old boys to breakfast. I then planned to take them to my newspaper office to kill a few hours before another game that afternoon. This team of Bantam players was scheduled to go on an eight-day trip to Sweden and Finland in the Spring, and I had gotten a reporter friend to put a press release in the Sunday paper. I found a parking space right in front of a small store that sold newspapers. It was January and freezing so I gave the boy in the front seat a dollar and told him to run inside to get a Sunday paper while the rest of us stayed warm in the heated car. He came back a couple minutes later saying he needed another 35 cents. I thought to myself, had newspapers gotten that expensive? Remember, it was 1978. Before giving him two more quarters while the door was open and we were losing all that nice heat, I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "You better not be buying any candy. We are going to breakfast. If you do buy candy, I promise I will shove it right up your butt.” I couldn't have made that last point any clearer. He came back a minute later with the newspaper and a grin on his face. He handed me the paper and change, and I noticed he was chewing something. I asked, "Did you buy any candy in there?" He pulled a partially eaten Oh Henry! bar out of his jacket pocket and took another bite, still grinning. I pulled the part eaten candy bar out of his hand, leaned him forward and stuffed the candy under his pants into the crack of his butt. He was a bit surprised but not upset that I followed through on my warning. The boys in the back seat had a good laugh and later related the story in the locker room before our game. I always keep my promises.
Backing your words up with actions sends a clear message that you can be counted on to always follow through and to always do the right thing. It's important to stay firm and do what you say you are going to do. Provide clear guidelines and expectations, spell out the rewards or consequences clearly and take the appropriate action afterward. Your students will respect you for it.