On October 22, 1989, a Sunday afternoon in rural Paynesville, MN, Jacob Wetterling, his younger brother, and best friend got on their bikes and rode into town to pick out a video to watch that night. On their way back they were stopped on the road by a man brandishing a revolver. He had seen them earlier and was waiting for them. He ordered them to dump their bikes in a drainage ditch and asked each of them their name and age. He told Jacob's brother and the friend to run home. He handcuffed Jacob and put him in his pickup truck. Then he drove some twenty miles to an old stone quarry. There in a clearing, he ordered Jacob to undress in that cold October air and he sexually assaulted him. After finishing his deed, the man saw a police car passing by on the road above and began to panic. He loaded bullets into his empty revolver, stood behind Jacob and fired two shots into his head, ending the boy's life. Jacob was 11 years, 8 months, and 5 days old. The man buried Jacob's lifeless body at the site, and it would remain an unsolved mystery until September 1, 2016, when the man confessed to Jacob's murder and the rape of a 12-year-old boy nine months before Jacob’s abduction in return for immunity from prosecution. Jacob's remains were positively identified September 3, 2016, nearly 27 years after his brutal murder, bringing his always hopeful family closure. Jacob's murderer, a monster in the real sense, is currently incarcerated in a Federal Prison for possession of child pornography and technically may never be released, but things sometimes change. Some in our society do not deserve forgiveness, regardless of your beliefs.

 

I've been around long enough to know that about the time of Jacob's disappearance in 1989, along with a few other high-profile child abduction cases, there was a steady societal shift in America. No longer were kids taking long rides with their bikes, exploring the woods on their own, or even walking to a friend's house in the next development. They were instead being transported in minivans to organized activities or parked on the couch in the living room in front of a gaming console. Parents feared for their children's safety, pulling in the welcome mat and double bolting the doors.

 

Today, face to face social interaction amongst pre-teens and teens, aside from spending time each day at school, has been replaced by cellphones and multi-player video games, often depriving opportunities for mentoring outside the home. When they do participate in an activity, youth sports coaches for example, often good mentors, have limited access to the youngsters due to a hands-off policy. They aren’t permitted to have a private conversation offering counsel and advice to a kid who may be in conflict with a parent or have other concerns. Less than 1% of those amongst us are bad people which limit the ability of the other 99% to do their job. That’s sad and makes me angry. The kid is deprived of diverse mentoring, and good mentors are curtailed from sharing their wisdom. Some youngsters may have no access to mentors outside the home and are subjected to a single point of view from their parent(s) who may not have any or only modest mentoring skills. The pendulum is not expected to swing back any time soon which will make the mentor’s job that much more difficult. I don't envy those who have to deal with today's challenges. Life was much simpler in the 70s and 80s.

 

Jacob's parents established the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center (JWRC), now administered by The Zero Abuse Project, after Jacob's disappearance to educate and assist families and work with communities to prevent the exploitation of children. Jacob loved sports, playing soccer, hockey and football. He dreamed of being a football player. Jacob believed in a fair and just world, a world where all children know they are special and deserve to be safe. The Resource Center created #11 for Jacob, inspired by school children. The movement centers around 11 simple traits that Jacob valued; be fair, be kind, be understanding, be honest, be thankful, be a good sport, be a good friend, be joyful, be generous, be gentle with others and be positive.

 

I didn't know Jacob or his family, but I knew hundreds and mentored dozens of boys just like him during my two-decade youth hockey tenure. So, it's become personal for me. I spent those years protecting and keeping each of those kids safe because they were all special. Anytime I get stressed out, maybe when I’m stuck behind a driver on their cell phone going at half the speed limit, I take a breath and silently recite #11 for Jacob. It calms me down. Give it a try for a week.  Be sure to share #11 for Jacob with your children and grandchildren. For the record, every penny earned from the sale of this book is donated directly to the JWRC. I wouldn't have it any other way.