I struggled to find an anecdotal story that would best describe respect. After thinking about it though I realized that everything I’ve done and continue to do centers around this key quality. I conveyed respect to the players, parents, and volunteers I encountered throughout my two decades of involvement in youth hockey and to those I’ve met through my various places of employment; coworkers, vendors, and clients. I’ve also worked hard at being respectful to waiters, clerks, technicians, law enforcement and whomever. With rare exception, it resulted in people being mutually respectful.

 

When I was a youngster growing up in the 60s, parents, including my own had their own methods for teaching respect. It occasionally involved the shiny side of a belt or the back of a hand. Our society has mostly progressed from using those methods, but respect is still an important quality and needs to be learned by everyone. I taught the youngsters I mentored to be respectful and to always act respectfully, explaining that by doing so others would respect them. This rule was conveyed partly through words but mostly through my actions, as actions speak louder than words and are much easier for inattentive kids to comprehend. For certain, respect is one of those things that can rub off on people. If you always do the right thing, you will earn the respect of others while helping them by example to become more respectful.

 

Hockey players from the youngest level to NHL Professionals will beat the hell out of each other in a championship game or playoff series. Once it’s over though both teams will line up in orderly rows at center ice and shake each other’s hand as a sign of respect. It’s a tradition more than a hundred years old.  It’s a beautiful thing to watch and teaches a very powerful lesson; you don’t have to particularly like someone to respect them or their efforts. It’s also a reminder that hockey, like all sports, is just a game. Even if you’re not a hockey fan, be sure to turn on that Time Bandit in your living room during the Stanley Cup Finals including the entire family in the experience. It’s a teaching moment for certain. 

 

Some of those in our society today lack an understanding of respect. Finishing up a text message while driving (which you shouldn’t be doing in the first place) at a 20-second green left turn signal after 18 seconds and leaving a row of stuck cars behind you is not respectful. Nor is pushing your cart full of groceries through the express lane while someone is waiting behind you with a cello-wrapped sandwich and drink on their thirty-minute lunch break. It shows a lack of empathy for those around you… another value closely aligned with respect. There are many ways to demonstrate respect: being attentive when someone is speaking or performing, having a courteous regard for other’s feelings, abiding by our laws and regulations which protect us all, or valuing the advice and counsel of a parent or good mentor.

 

Respect should go both ways. You can't expect someone to respect your point of view for example if you don't respect theirs. That doesn't mean you can't have a healthy debate if your points of view differ. Agreeing to disagree is not necessarily a bad thing provided you keep it respectable. It may sometimes be hard to respect someone who shows disrespect or aggression towards you. It might require lots of lip biting, and it could take some effort to earn that respect. If no one offers that hand though, don't expect the situation to change on its own.